


Invariant Truths

by 2shytheshippy



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Other, The X-Files Revival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 17:43:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5136878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2shytheshippy/pseuds/2shytheshippy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d fall asleep in Buffalo, New York and wake up in Issaquah, Washington. The next time he’d opened his eyes, he was in Colorado Springs, Colorado or Splendora, Texas. For three days, he’d be in Little Rock, Arkansas before he took off for Memphis, Tennessee. </p><p>Mulder’s internal clock was shot and an endless supply of coffee along with powernaps kept him functioning. </p><p>At least, that was what Skinner told her.</p><p>Scully didn’t know how to feel about finding secondhand information about Mulder, which either came from Skinner or a news report. He was in Kentucky, then Illinois, and California.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Invariant Truths

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me, Philes, for I have sinned. This story spiraled out of control and the characterizations are...well, you'll see. I wrote this for therapeutic purposes and apologize in advance.

Eventually, he stopped calling.

Mulder stopped calling.

Scully tried to rationalize it as Mulder being too busy to talk to her. He worked as an investigative consultant now for various police departments and the FBI. A few months prior, he dipped his toe back into the profiling waters and, every since then, various agencies across the countries sent him cases. They were willing to pay premium dollar for Fox “Spooky” Mulder to help close their cases—they were even willing to pay for flight, housing, and local transportation.

The more cases Mulder closed, the bigger his legend built. It was as if he hadn’t taken over a twenty-year hiatus. Cases that stumped detectives and agents for months, took weeks for Mulder to solve…or less.

He’d tell them it wasn’t magic that his brain just worked differently, but they didn’t care as long as the case was solved. But, they couldn’t believe that a guy of his talent gave that all up to chase little green men. Few speculated that Mulder wanted more of a challenge than ordinary crimes and natural phenomena. Some reacted to the speculation with disdain and believed that Mulder “wasted” his talent. How many lives could’ve been saved back then when he chased sneaky farmers or suspicious lights in the sky? They were glad that he became grounded and chase monsters of the human variety.

But, Mulder could care less what they thought.

In the day, he’d hunt for kidnappers, serial killers, bombers, and any of the human variety of monsters. But, at night, he still searched the skies, labs, and anywhere that offered him answers for the truth. Although he’d never stop searching for the truth, Mulder knew he needed to do something to pay the bills. There were various job offers, but consulting was the only one that allowed Mulder true flexibility. The fact that many agencies were willing to compensate him well for his expertise was a bonus and that wasn’t even including the other expenses they covered just to get him to come.

Depending on the type of conspiracy information he obtained or any leads he was given, Mulder juggled several cases at any given time. If the information was something he needed to follow up on, Mulder picked smaller cases that needed an expert opinion. He could knock those out in a day or two and have the money deposited in his account to cover his travel expenses for his paranormal investigations. Although the bigger, “flashy” cases paid more, Mulder favor the smaller ones. Not only did they require less time, they also require less emotional investment. It was a relief to capture the criminal in his cases, but there was always another one out there. There was always another victim looking to be saved.

Although Mulder became a consultant as a way to make money to cover his personal travel expenses, there were unintended benefits: people did favors for him. They thought his beliefs were crazy, but they felt deeply in debt to man who helped get a killer off the street, stopped a serial rapist, or found a kidnapped victim alive. Cops and agents kept their mouths shut about Mulder’s supernatural beliefs and told him about things they heard, referred him to important people, or sent him to location to gather material he needed if they could.

He’d fall asleep in Buffalo, New York and wake up in Issaquah, Washington. The next time he’d opened his eyes, he was in Colorado Springs, Colorado or Splendora, Texas. For three days, he’d be in Little Rock, Arkansas before he took off for Memphis, Tennessee. When he paused his consultant work, the traveling still continued: New Mexico, Bangkok, Berlin, Indonesia, North Carolina, the Ivory Coast—he followed wherever his leads took him.

Mulder’s internal clock was shot and an endless supply of coffee along with powernaps kept him functioning.

Contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t insane. Sure, he was a workhorse, but he never overworked himself. After every three, four major cases, he’d take a week off and rest. Part of him knew that if he didn’t, he’d work himself to exhaustion and the other part knew he wasn’t thirty anymore.

At least, that was what Skinner told her.

Scully didn’t know how to feel about finding secondhand information about Mulder, which either came from Skinner or a news report. He was in Kentucky, then Illinois, and California.

She hadn’t even known what he’d been up to when she saw a clip of him on TV in the doctor’s longue. He was in the background, but Scully could recognize him from anywhere. Frozen, she stood transfixed as the sight of Mulder invigorated her senses. If it weren’t for the subtle signs of aging, Scully would’ve sworn this was footage of Mulder’s first stint with the FBI.

Aviator sunglasses covered Mulder’s eyes as he wore a crisp, well-fitted blue suit with a solid red tie. Occasionally, he cracked a seed while he spoke to a uniformed officer. He looked as if he belonged there. He did belong there.

Soon after the clip ended, Scully called Mulder. She was afraid that he wouldn’t answer, but by the third ring, she’d heard his gravelly voice. He greeted her, and then confirmed that it was indeed him she saw on television, but he didn’t have time to talk. Just like that, he’d hung up.

After that, Scully soon figured out that if she didn’t call Mulder, she didn’t hear from him.

His calls stopped long before hers began, but she didn’t think it had anything to do with his schedule. He’d managed to speak to Skinner regularly and it wasn’t all business either—not even mostly. She didn’t even think he made himself busy on purpose to avoid calling her. He simply didn’t want to talk to her.

Tightly, Scully swallowed the lump in her throat.

If she were naive, she’d be happy that Mulder finally took her advice and got better. Admittedly, Scully was happy that Mulder was no longer shut off from the world in his personal office wearing the same sweats from the day before, but at the same time, his acclimation back into the outside world seemed come at the expense of their relationship. Whatever that was.

And whatever he was doing was intentional.

Mulder hadn’t severed ties, but he’d placed enough distance that it felt that way. Enough that she felt out of the loop on important situations that she should be apart of.

This change hadn’t happened when Scully moved out or even when she told him he needed to get better. It was almost a year after their separation and she finally admitted she started seeing someone.

_Glibly, Mulder said, “I’m happy for you, Scully.”_

_“Mulder…”_

_“No,” he interrupted. “You deserve this, Scully, you put up with ole Spooky far longer than any other woman. You deserve to have something normal and uncomplicated; someone who doesn’t remind you of all you’ve lost and offer a fresh start. You go, girl.”_

_In a mixture of fury and frustration, Scully frowned. “Don’t do that, Mulder. Don’t—don’t make it seem as if you weren’t good enough for me or—or that I put up with you. I loved you—I love you, but…”_

_“Love isn’t enough,” Mulder echoed her words from months ago back to her._

_“That’s not fair, Mulder.” Scully tightly closed her eyes to compose herself._

_“When has it ever been fair for us?” Although she hate to admit it, since she day she walked into the X-Files office, nothing about her life has been fair—not even love. She doesn’t regret loving Mulder or, even being with him for that matter, but they had a lot stacked against them before they got together. They also had their own personal demons to work through. Tiredly, Mulder sighed and then gave Scully a pained filled grin. “It was nice while it lasted, right?”_

_“Mulder…” Deeply, Scully exhaled, and then furrowed her brows and questioned just exactly she was trying to achieve. She knew that Mulder wasn’t taking their separation well and her current news wasn’t being received well either. So, why was she trying to prove that what they had was real; despite the fact they weren’t together anymore? What favors would that do Mulder at this point? “Yeah, it was,” she said instead._

_“All I ever wanted was for you to be happy,” he mumbled. “Even if it wasn’t because of me. Are you happy, Scully?”_

_Tears prickled at Scully’s eyes as a lump in her throat formed. All she ever wanted was to be happy as well, but with Mulder by her side. But, he didn’t want help and she couldn’t stand around and watch him rot away. Was it wrong for her to move on with her life? Because she was happy, but she wasn’t happy with how tings turned out between them or they place they were now or how she’s afraid being around him because it was so easy to pick up where they left off._

_She didn’t want to hurt Mulder, but lying would be the worst option. He knew when she lied and he’d hate the fact that she’d tried to protect him—that she’d thought he needed protection._

_“Yeah,” she admitted._

_Mulder slowly nodded. “That’s good. You deserve to be happy.”_

_“And you do too,” Scully shot back._

_“Just not in the way you healthy, normal folk define it,” he quipped._

That’s when he stopped calling.

“To what do I owe the pleasant surprise?” Scully turned at the sound of Mulder’s voice. She didn’t hear him pull up or even close the door for that matter.

“I…I just thought I’d drop by and see how you’ve been.” Well, one of the reasons.

Mulder said nothing walked towards their home—his home with a bag in his hand, which she presumed was takeout. When he walked up the stairs, he threw a curious glance at her, and then opened the screen door. He held the screen open for Scully once he finally unlocked the main door.

Although Mulder was a man of questionable eating habits and thrived off of clutter, he had a system and was generally a clean person. When he was assigned to the X-Files, he kept the office clean and the files were always in order. Scully always knew where to find something when she went into the filing cabinet unless Mulder took it out or forgot to put it back. He clutter habit came in when either composed a profile or was at a dead end on the X-Files.

Despite the fact that he used his bedroom as storage for many years, the rest of his apartment was always clean. Sure, he was on the road a lot, just as she was, but he placed always appeared to be well maintained whenever she visited—expected or unexpected.

It was one of the indicators that something was going on with Mulder in the last year or so of their relationship.

There were times Scully did have to ask Mulder to chip in with the housework, but that was usually because he’d gotten caught up in his work. Other than that, Mulder didn’t need to be asked to clean, he just did it simply because it needed to be done. If he was reminded, he either did it right away or later on that day.

But, in the end, he stopped cleaning.

He stopped caring about things that used to make him happy.

He stopped putting in effort in them.

He was simply living.

“Make yourself at home,” Mulder said offhandedly.

As soon as Scully walked into the house, she stopped in her tracks. The house was clean. She didn’t even take this to mean that Mulder was better, but it was something. Right? He no longer wore a constant five o’clock shadow, was washing and chancing clothes everyday, and had a job.

Scully assessed the scene in front of her and saw the interior looked relatively unchanged since her last visit—well, minus the fact that it was now clean. It even smelled nice as well. She noted that Mulder hadn’t tried to erase her presence; there were still traces of her in his—his home. Scully intentionally steered away from reading anything into it.

There was a packed suitcase next to the couch.

Yippy, she caught him before he left town again.

Scully’s suspicions about the contents of the bag were confirmed when Mulder took out a bowl and a carton and placed it on the counter. He ate a few bites before he spoke again.

“Have you seen enough?”

Confusion flittered across Scully’s face.

“You came by to see how I was,” he repeated her comment from earlier as he nodded to the space surrounding her. “I’d hate for you to waste gas, especially in this economy.” Another bite. “A phone call could’ve cleared up your concerns.”

“Would it,” she challenged. “Most of the time, I can’t even get a hold of you and when I leave a voicemail, you don’t respond. The times you DO, you are telling me that you can’t answer or return my calls because you’re busy all while getting me off of the phone in less than a minute. I can’t even get a word edgewise before you hang up, Mulder, so no, a phone call wouldn’t have cleared anything up.”

“Let me get this straight: it was okay when you were too busy to answer my calls, but it’s a problem when I’m too busy to answer yours?” Mulder rested his hands on the counter as he leaned against it. “It that how this works?”

“So, what is this…revenge? Payback? Because you felt that I ignored you all of those months ago?”

“Scully, cut the crap,” Mulder said, as he stared at her incredulously. “We were together for twelve years—I know your schedule and I know how busy it gets. But, I also know it’s never too busy to return a call even if it’s a few days later or—or that you always manage to somehow miss mine. But, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe once you left Spooky Mulder, you’re life opened up and you have all these charity dinners, girls night outs, and family gatherings to attend. May—maybe you’re relationship was just going so well you couldn’t even spare me the time. But, I’m not wrong, am I? Because, when we were together, it didn’t matter how busy you were, you always made time to talk to me even if you had to squeeze me in before a surgery. So, don’t fucking lie to my face and act as if I’m making up shit when you damn well know what you did.”

“Tried to help you,” she passionately retorted. “Got tired of watching as you became a former shell of yourself and—and pushed me away.” Scully paced in Mulder’s living room. For a moment, she held her face in her hands as she collected herself. “So, yeah…you’re right, Mulder. I was avoiding you. I didn’t want to watch the man I knew—the man I fell in love with completely fade away.”

Mulder crossed his arms and stared at the counter. “Funny, all I got from that is: I’ve moved on, Mulder, and so should you.”

“And if I wanted to move on, could you blame me?” Scully waked to the opposite side of the counter and looked at Mulder. “You were there, but you weren’t there, Mulder. It was if you checked out on us.”

“I get that you needed space after you, Scully,” he said. “But…it felt like you were removing me from you life. Like, I no longer had a place in it.”

“Is that why you’re trying to remove me from yours?” Scully dipped her head to look into Mulder’s eyes.

Mulder bitterly chuckled as he traced the lines on the counter. “I was only following your lead.” Scully clenched her jaw and looked at the tiles on the kitchen floor. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to punch Mulder or cry—maybe both. “Why are you here, Scully?”

Scully leapt at the change of subject as she reached into her laptop bag and pulled out a manila folder. It fell to the table with a light thump and Scully turned, and then pushed the folder towards Mulder.

As Mulder skimmed the pages, Scully calmed herself.

“How in the hell did you get ahold of this,” Mulder questioned.

Scully dodged the question. “I understand removing me from your personal life, Mulder, but you can’t remove me from this.” She gestured to the files and threw a glare a Mulder.

With equal fervor, Mulder returned her glare and asked again, “How did get ahold of this?”

He picked up the papers and waved them in front of her.

“Was it Skinner?” Bingo. “Of course it was. I’m surprised he even kept it from you this long.”

“And why would you ask him to keep this from? Why would you,” Scully said loudly. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Why would I,” he countered. “So you could call me crazy and say that the alien invasion wasn’t happening? We may have gotten the date wrong, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still coming.” Mulder huffed, and then ran a hand through his hair. “Besides, isn’t this what you wanted? The darkness out of your life.” Mulder pointed to the papers. “This is the darkness. For once I actually listened to you, Scully, why aren’t you happy?”

“Fuck you, Mulder,” she spat.

“What would your boyfriend think?” He looked at her intently as if she’d actually suggested sex.

“That he has nothing to worry about.” Not at the rate Mulder was going.

Mulder held his heart. “You know how to wound a man, don’t you?”

“Mulder, can we just—can we…”Scully sighed, and then crossed her arms. It served as a defensive stance and shielded her vulnerability. She didn’t want to fight with Mulder. She hated it. It didn’t matter that they weren’t together anymore. It was emotionally exhausting fighting with a person who knew almost everything about you. And when Mulder really wanted to fight, it wasn’t your typical throwing around accusations and hurling insults. He peeled the layers back and made people set themselves up for the moment he decided to pounce. It was almost like when investigators allowed criminals to hang themselves. God, he was such an ass sometimes. “I’m sorry,” she said sincerely.

Scully wasn’t afraid of Mulder’s arguing tactics, but she really did hate arguing with him. She could give as good as she got, but in the end, they’d just be hurting one another even more, which she was trying to avoid.

“I—I’ve never done well with breaks ups,” she admitted. “Jack. Daniel. Ethan. I’ve always severed ties completely because it’s easier for me to handle break ups that way. But, I wasn’t trying to do that with you—at least, I don’t think I was. I just didn’t know how to be around you and still have a life outside of you…a dating life. I guess I depended on you always calling to still feel connected even though I didn’t always answer and I apologize if my actions hurt you, Mulder. That wasn’t my intention. And when I stopped hearing from you,” Scully paused to lick her lips. “It felt as though I lost another piece of myself. I lost one every time I tried to pack my bags only to unpack hoping that if I stayed a little longer you’d get better. I lost one when I actually left, when I told my family we weren’t together anymore, when people suggested I started dating, when I actually started dating, when I told you I was seeing someone.” A tart laugh escaped Scully as tears quickly fell down her face Hurriedly, sniffled and wiped them away. “And when you started ignoring me. I’ve already lost enough of myself over these past few months; I can’t lose you completely.”

Mulder walked around the counter and engulfed Scully in his arms. He whispered in her ear. “Don’t you ever worry about losing me. I’m not going anywhere, G-woman.”

Scully chuckled into his chest. “I haven’t been in agent in over a decade, Mulder.”

“You can take a woman out of the FBI, but you can’t take the FBI out of a woman.”

~*~*~

Mulder didn’t know how he let Scully rope him into this.

They agreed to start over and talk again. In the beginning, they spoke once or twice a week. It wasn’t where they used to be, but it was something. Mulder had to admit, he missed hearing her voice and cherished every call. They now speak three or four times a week, meet up for lunch, and exchange texts daily.

Eventually, Mulder met Tad, but it was accidental. Tad had dropped by Scully’s place unexpectedly to surprise her and Mulder happened to be there. Mulder wanted her input on some leads he was working on and it felt good to hear Scully’s opinion again. It wasn’t as if their rekindled friendship was a secret from Tad, but the three of them being all in one room felt awkward. Although they’d made great strides in their relationship, Mulder suspected that Scully didn’t have any intention of introducing him and Tad, despite the fact that she’d been with Tad for almost a year. But, Mulder didn’t want to read into what that might mean.

Anyway, Scully found out that Mulder was on his week hiatus and invited him to dinner. She said it was a small get together and that she’d really like him to come. Mulder had a million excuses on hand to which Scully successfully dismantled each and every one of them. He had no choice, but to go.

Besides, she said, it wouldn’t hurt for him to socialize outside of crime fighting and saving the world.

Mulder had to admit, he was glad that he came. The food was delicious and the company wasn’t bad. It helped that Skinner was invited as well. And Scully had the really, really good wine (and beer, which he suspected she bought specifically for him).

It was hard to miss how Scully laughed and smiled all night, which was more than he’s ever seen since they’ve known each other. Perhaps, it was better that she left. She actually looked happy, rather than always serious with an occasional smile.

“So, I know everyone else in this room,” a woman named Lucy began. She was a petite Chinese woman who was around Scully’s age. “Except you two.” She pointed at Mulder and Skinner. “Dana said you two are friends of hers, but how did you all meet?”

It felt weird hearing Scully called Dana, but was she even Scully anymore? She’d built a whole new life for herself and everyone, even Skinner, called her Dana. Although it was weird that he always called her Scully, it was also during their partnership and not many people batted their eyes at work because everyone went by their last names. But, at home, the surnames had taken an intimate meaning. Something only reserved for the two of them. Calling her Dana felt as though Mulder was referring to another person, but this was her new life. There wasn’t any room for Scully anymore.  
Skinner and Mulder looked at each, and then smiled. “Well, Dana and I used to be partners at the FBI and ole Skinman here,” he said as he placed a hand on Skinner’s shoulder. “Was our boss.”

“Dana?” Scully raised an eyebrow at Mulder. “No, you don’t get to call me Dana, it’s Scully or Scullay.”

As they looked at each other, they laughed.

“I forgot that you used to be an FBI agent, “ Lucy said. Apparently, still in disbelief that Scully worked a profession outside of medicine—a dangerous one at that. “It’s just so hard to visualize, you know?”

“It was hard to believe even when she was an agent,” Mulder warmly joked and the other people laughed. Scully threw him a faux glare, and then smiled.

“I remember the first time I saw Dana,” Skinner began. “I wondered if the FBI started recruiting straight out of high school back then.” More chuckles. “At best, she looked twenty three or twenty four, but she was smart as a whip and knew how to handle herself at the FBI headquarters and on the field as well.”

“And was a very good shot,” Mulder supplied.

“Amazing accuracy,” Skinner agreed. “Her rookie gun certifications are one of the highest I’ve ever seen as well as her recertification.”

“Remind me to never misbehave,” Tad quipped to the other dinner guest. They chuckled.

“Dana was also an agent of integrity,” Skinner continued. “She was a by the book type of person, but she was unafraid to stand up for what she believed in and didn’t hesitate to let her superiors know. It was one of her many admirable traits. Without a doubt, she and Mulder were the best agents I ever had the pleasure of supervising.”

“Laying it on pretty thick there, aren’t you, Walter,” Mulder said. “With the way you regularly chewed us out, I thought you were relieved we were taken off of your hands and given to Kersh.”

“Correction, Dana was the best agent I ever had he pleasure of working with.” Mulder laughed into this beer. Skinner gestured to Mulder. “This one right here was a pain in my ass. I could’ve been a spokesperson for Advil the way I faithfully dry swallowed them due to the migraines Mulder gave me.”

“Little does he know,” Mulder held up a hand and pretended to whisper to the next to him as he spoke in his regular voice. “Dana was the one who used to call him ‘Walter the Terrible.’”

Scully sat forward. “Mulder, YOU were the one who called him that.” Mulder threw her a look and they held each other’s stare for a moment. “It was one time. You called him that after he chewed you out for doing shit you shouldn’t had been doing in the first place.”

“Don’t worry, big guy,” Mulder said to Skinner. “We only used it affectionately.”

“Whatever you say…Fox.” Skinner evilly grinned. It was Mulder’s turn to glare at Skinner.

“So, how long were you two partners,” Scully’s co-worker Christy asked.

“Seven, eight years,” Mulder answered.

“Wow,” Lucy said, amazed. “That’s a long time. How long were you at the FBI, Dana?”

Scully was silent for a moment. “Ten, eleven years. I started out as an instructor before I was partnered with Mulder, and then I was an instructor again before I left,” she explained.

At this, Tad intently looked at Mulder, and then Scully.

“So, Mulder was your only partner?”

“Uh…Well—“

“I was given a deep cover assignment,” Mulder explained. “And we weren’t sure how long I was going to be gone, so they assigned Scully a temporary partner until I returned. During that time, she got tired of literally chasing crooks and transferred to Quantico.” Scully shot Mulder a grateful look. “And when I returned, with Scully at Quantico and the FBI not having the same appeal, I left. To be honest, she was the reason I stayed as long as I did.”

“So, why did you leave,” Frank, a friend of Tad’s, asked Scully.

“Like Mulder said, being an agent lost its appeal.” Scully sipped her wine and swallowed the truth right along with it.

They group moved on to other topics as they spoke about some of Tad’s projects and various other topics. Mulder and Frank conversed about sports and their love for the Knicks. Skinner explained the responsibilities, duties, and day-to-day life of an average FBI agent to one of the guests whose daughter was interested in applying. Scully hopped in and out of conversations as various people spoke to her.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you all night,” a blond man named Nate said to Mulder. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

“Umm…I don’t think so,” Mulder answered. He sipped his beer as he leaned back into the couch.

Ashanti, a black woman with long curly hair, waved him off. “Don’t mind Nate; he thinks he knows everyone from somewhere. He keeps insisting he’s seen Dana before.”

“No, I swear I’ve seen him before—and Dana,” Nate insisted.

“I’m pretty sure we’ve never met,” Mulder said definitively. “I never forget a face.”

“Now that you mention it Nate,” Oscar began. He was one of the guests who’d been relatively quiet all night. “You definitely look familiar.”

“Perhaps, you’ve seen Mulder in the news,” Scully provided. She figured that had to be what they were getting at. “He’s an investigative consultant and has been in a lot of high profile cases lately.”

Oscar snapped and pointed to no one in particular. “That’s it. I’ve seen you on the news a couple of times.”

“No,” Nate shook his head. He appeared to be lost in his thoughts when he audibly gasped. “I saw you two on an episode of Cops,” he said triumphantly.

Ashanti looked at Nate. “Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now, Nate? FBI agents on an episode of Cops?”

Embarrassedly, Scully rested her face in her hands and said, “Oh my God.”

Mulder tried to hold it in, but couldn’t help it and burst out laughing. Belly aching laughs filled the room as Mulder held his stomach due to how hard he was laughing.

“You remembered us from Cops,” he asked as he caught his breath. Tears fell from his eyes. “That was like…2000? Over fourteen years ago.”

“You two were on Cops?” Ashanti was shocked as she looked at Scully, and then Mulder.

“Unfortunately,” Scully said dryly.

“I remembered it because it was the most out there Cops episode I’d ever seen,” Nate recalled. “And it was clear that Dana didn’t want the TV crew there and Mulder enjoyed the whole thing.”

“I remember that report,” Skinner grinned. “It’s not everyday a TV crew follows your investigation at the FBI.”

“Have you forgotten about Wayne,” Scully asked as she raised an eyebrow as Skinner.

Skinner looked at Scully. “He ‘shadowed’ you and Mulder, he didn’t tape you.”

“The less we talk about that, the better.” Mulder was still upset that that movie was even made.

“You two still upset about that,” Skinner questioned. “You two got to stay in a five star hotel for a weekend AND spent a night out on the Bureau’s dime.”

“So, Mulder, what’s it like to be an investigative consultant compared to when you were at the FBI?” Frank seemed genuinely interested as he somewhat switched topics. Clearly, whatever they were talking about was a sore point for Mulder (and maybe Scully).

Eagerly, Mulder latched onto the question. “Well, of course, I don’t have the same responsibilities like writing reports, which is always a great thing. Or…answering to a superior, for that matter, which makes how I work a bit easier. And, I have to work well with the police departments or agencies to effectively do my job since I was invited. I work when I want and can discriminate more about which cases I take. But, the FBI did have some pros. With them I had more resources and, could throw my weight around a bit, depending on the case. I didn’t really like to do it, but I had to sometimes if it was the only way I could get the job done.”

Lucy looked curiously at Mulder. “So you’re the guy people call to catch when they can’t catch…killers, rapists, and kidnappers?” Mulder nodded in a way that said ‘basically.’ Lucy raised her eyebrows, and then looked at Scully. “No wonder you left the FBI. I don’t see how you did that for so long.”

“Well, Dana didn’t investigate those kind of cases,” Skinner clarified. “When Mulder first joined the FBI, composed profiles on those types of criminals before he changed departments. During his partnership with Dana, they investigated atypical criminals and/or victims. Cases that just needed a closer eye.” Before anyone asked Skinner to elaborate, he said, “But, I bet Dana could’ve excelled in that department if she wanted to work there. As I said earlier, Dana is one of the best agents I’ve had the pleasure of supervising. It’s a shame that she left, but I’m glad to have worked with her. And Mulder’s one of the best criminal profilers I’ve ever known—it’s why so many agencies want to work with him. They know his past work and his results speak for themselves.”

“I know someone at the FBI who does that sort of thing,” Ashanti said. She refilled her wineglass, and then sipped from it as she spoke. “He said that some agents burn out because they can’t compartmentalize and separate their work from their work life.”

Mulder nodded in agreement. “Unfortunately, that’s true. TV likes to make people believe that criminal profiles go insane from being in too many criminals heads or that we aren’t too far from being criminals ourselves and that how we are able to catch them,” he explained. “But, the truth is: for those who do leave, they’ve seen far too many heinous crimes. They are either unable to cope and compartmentalize or they lost the ability to. Because once you solve that case, it’s another one, and then another one. It never ends. Your ‘victories’ feel hollow and sometimes, if you have family, your family life suffers because going home to them doesn’t give you comfort after a while. Or they are tired of constantly being worried for your safety. And the better you are, the worse the cases are.”

“I don’t know how either you or he does it.” Ashanti looked into her wineglass. “I mean, I’m glad there’s someone out there catching these, thee monsters, but I wouldn’t want to be the one to do it. But, someone does have to do it,” she acknowledged. “Do you have family? Are you married?”

“Uh…um, technically,” Mulder answered. “My wife and I are separated.” Mulder focused on Ashanti as he tried to appear casual while he spoke.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Ashanti said sincerely.

Mulder shrugged. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Marriage has both a fifty-percentage success and fail rate. You’d think people would be more weary about taking the plunge,” he joked.

“How long were you two together,” Frank asked.

“Frank,” Tad said, and then nodded no at his friend.

Frank turned to Tad and mouthed ‘what?’ Tad shook his head no. Dissatisfied with the response, Frank gave his full attention to Mulder and stared at him expectantly.

“Twelve years,” Mulder answered. “We were together for nine and married for three. So technically, we’ve been married for five and separated for two.”

“So what happened,” Frank pressed. “Did you pull away or was she tired of you being in danger?”

“Frank,” Tad warned again. “Leave it alone.”

“What,” Frank said, as he brushed off Tad. “I’m not talking you, I’m talking to Mulder. I know you have an aversion talking about marriage because of your own divorce, but that doesn’t mean that none of us can talk about it.”

“Will you just shut up, Frank? Just this once, please,” he tiredly pleaded with a tinge of annoyance.

Frank frowned at Tad. “What crawled up your ass and died? This has nothing to do with you—I’m not talking about you and your failed marriage or your ex-wife and yet you’re bitching at me like this has anything to do with you.”

“Because it does,” Tad yelled. “Dana and Mulder are married; Mulder is my girlfriend’s husband. You get it now? You see why we might be a little uncomfortable about it?”

An awkward silence settled in the room.

“We’re all adults here,” Mulder said, and then threw a chip in his mouth. “Scully and I had good twelve years. We may have not stayed together through sickness and health, but I wouldn’t changed a day.” He then looked at Scully. “Besides, how did we expect this to end any other way, but one?”

Speechless, Scully stared at Mulder, which Skinner gave him an incredulous look. “You can be a real ass, you know that, Mulder.” Just Mulder opened his mouth, Skinner said, “Shut it, Mulder. I haven’t taken an Advil in over a decade and I already want to down an entire bottle.”

“Fine, I’ll just keep my mouth shut for the rest of the night,” he grumbled.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Skinner finished his beer, and then opened another one.

In disbelief, Scully asked, “What does that mean, Mulder?”

“Nothing,” Mulder mumbled.

“No, Mulder,” she said, authoritatively. “What. Does. That. Mean.”

Mulder looked at Scully, and then to the other people in the room.

“Tell me,” she pressed. “What does that mean?”

Skinner and Mulder looked at Scully as if she’d gone crazy. For a person who was notoriously private, she was telling Mulder to discuss his opinion of their failed marriage in a room for a people.

Scully’s challenge stare remained.

“Fine.” Mulder leaned forward and mimicked Scully’s position. “You were right, Scully, as always: love isn’t enough,” he said. “And, as always, I wanted to prove you wrong—I needed to because I had to believe our love was enough to overcome all that bullshit we’d been through. But, it wasn’t. I guess I should’ve realized that a long time ago: love wasn’t enough when Phoebe left; it wasn’t enough when Diana left, and it sure as hell wasn’t enough when you left. When you’re right, you’re right.”

As if she’d been slapped, Scully stared at Mulder with hurt and a tinge of disbelief. Mulder noted her expression as he continued talking.

“I mean, you had to at least suspected that us separating was a possibility,” Mulder said. “Of course you did. You with your strict rationalism and me with my head in the sky, it’s mystery we even lasted as long as well did let alone thought getting married was a good idea. Our jobs were the glue that held us together and, without that, we’re just two people who used to have something in common.”

Abruptly, Scully left the couch and yanked open her front door. “Get out,” Scully demanded. “Get out! Get out of my home, Mulder!”

Unbelieving, Mulder stared at Scully. Slowly, he stood up and picked up his jacket from the back of the couch. When he exited the door, he said, “You asked me to tell you, now you’re kicking me out because I told you?”

“No.” Scully followed Mulder into the hallway. “How dare you compare me to Phoebe or Diana as if I’m anything like them. I am not going to let you sit in my house and mischaracterize, trivialize, and undermine our relationship and everything we’ve been through because you’re feeling…some type of way. I didn’t invest eight years of my career and twelve years of my life—I did not exchange marital vows with you only to have our relationship written off as doomed to fail. As—as—as if the sum of our relationship was inevitably going to end. Because it’s not true and, if you think it is, then you aren’t the man I fell in love with years ago. No matter how true it may sound in your head, that’s not who we are, Mulder. We are so much more than labels that are used to define us. If we weren’t, I’ve would’ve spent my whole career trying to debunk your work OR left in the beginning of our partnership. I wouldn’t have risked my job, my life, or my freedom for you. Labels help explain who we are, but they aren’t absolute; they aren’t us. And, if you think they are, let this be the last time we speak.”

Wordlessly, Mulder moved his mouth as he struggled to find the words. “What do you want from me, Scully? Huh? I’m not understanding here.” He balled his hands in frustration. “Explain it to me.”

“My words are self explanatory,” she replied.

“You don’t want me to mischaracterize, trivialize, or undermine our relationship, but how can I accurately understand who and what we are, when you don’t even know what you want from me,” he accused. “You want me to move on, but you want to stay in my life, even though you know that I’m taking this separation hard. You said claim you wanted me to get better and I won’t blame you for leaving, but ignored me when I needed you the most. So far, tell me if that accurately describes us, Scully?” Mulder stepped into her personal space—challenging her to contradict to him. “I got out the DAMN car for you, Scully. Tried this ‘normal life’ bullshit. Stayed away from the darkness to keep YOU happy. All this and you still, you still leave. You’re right, you’re words are self-explanatory: you don’t know what the fuck you want. But, here’s what I know: I can’t avoid the darkness, I’m meant to fight it. And if you don’t want that in your life, then you don’t want me in your life—we’re a package deal. Take it or leave it.”

Mulder walked away and didn’t look back.

~*~*~

Scully sat next to Mulder at the bar.

In silence, they sat next to one another as Mulder finished his drink. Scully didn’t mind the silence. It was oddly…comforting.

“Did Walter the Terrible tell you where I was,” Mulder asked, as he gestured to the bartender to refill his drink. Scully chuckled, and then stole Mulder’s glass once refilled. He smiled and gestured for another drink.

“Yeah,” she admitted. Gently, her fingers curled around his hand. “I’m sorry.”

Mulder shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have taken my shit out on you.”

“Even so.” Scully sipped her stolen drink. “You were right: I didn’t know what I wanted. When everything was great between us, it was easy for me to pretend that we weren’t damaged people. That we had normal lives. I guess I clung to that fantasy so much because I thought I’d never have it. I never thought I’d be able to share that with you. And then I did. But, you weren’t happy.”

In protest, Mulder frowned at Scully. “I was happy.”

“Mulder, no, you weren’t,” Scully denied. “Not really. You were happy being with me, but not outside of me and that’s not true happiness. I don’t want you life all about me and that’s what it became when I asked you to stay away from the darkness and didn’t want you to pursue colonization leads. And it’s not that I didn’t believe you Mulder, I was just terrified of losing you. Thinking that I’d never see you again or know what happened to you. I—I—I wanted to protect you.” Scully eyes became watery as she spoke. Slowly, her tears fell as she blinked. “You’re so fearless, Mulder, and it’s like I’m the shell of the woman I once was.”

“We’re both getting old, Scully,” Mulder said. “I can feel it in my knees everyday.”

Scully laughed against Mulder’s arm. For a moment, her head lolled as she deeply inhaled Mulder scent.

“I tried to imagine what it was like to be you,” she confessed. “You’re no longer and FBI agent and I begged you to stay away from the darkness. I basically told you not to be who you are…who’ve you always been; that’s like asking me not to be a doctor. Sure, they are other jobs out there, but they won’t satisfy and fulfill me.” Scully rested her hands in her lap. “A light in you went out and you lost the essence of what made you Mulder—the man I fell in love with—everyday you stayed put for me.”

“What are you saying, Scully?”

Scully rested her hand over Mulder’s again.

Her wedding band was on her left hand this time.

“I want the packaged deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a huge candidate for some revisions, but we'll see if I actually get around to it.


End file.
